late night, come home, work sucks, I know

SCHOOL IS OVER. For now. 9th grade was hard; I don't know if it's because it was my first year of high school or if I was lazy. I made good grades; my rank will probably improve, but it was already top 20 to begin with, so I'm not worried. I'm afraid to say anything about my plans to be a CIT at the JCC because I was warned parents would google us, check us up on facebook, etc. I don't have anything bad to say though. I'm sure the kids will be cute and the time will fly. In the middle of the summer I'm going to Tel Yehudah in NY. That'll be great.
This is really bad writing. I hope I'm not dead inside.

I don't know I just I don't know

What do I do with this blog?
Where am I going with it?


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I missed a ton of school last week because I had a really bad cold and now I have no idea what to make up and what I missed and I am so stressed and I just want summer to be now because the AP exam sucked the life out of me and I want to sleep, clean, and sleep even more.

summer to do list

- go to the beach FREQUENTLY
- make a lemon curd tart
- clean my room
- read avidly
- write when inspiration strikes
- try new things
- meet new people
- paint
- sculpt?
- take care of myself
- talk on the phone more
- talk in person more
- not crush on a total loser
- listen to a lot of music
- make a few mistakes
- party
- laugh
- cry
- think
- dream
- create
- exist

when

when you haven't seen someone in the longest time
all you want to do is look at them
and look and watch and see
and look at them and see all the ways they changed since you saw them last
and there's so many differences
and each one is beautiful
and you never want to look away

I was kidnapped real young by the sweet taste of love.

I bought some CDs today at Borders. "Everything Goes Numb" by Streetlight Manifesto, marked as $14 HALF OFF. "Rockin' The Suburbs" by Ben Folds, marked as $12 HALF OFF. "Bottoms of Barrels" by Tilly and the Wall, marked as $14 HALF OFF. STEALS, PEOPLE. Amazing. I'm listening to Tilly and the Wall because they are a cute group with a nice, whimsical sound and nice lyrics and they have a tap dancer named Jamie Pressnall instead of a drummer. Pretty notable, I guess. But they do sound good and I like it a lot and it makes me want to live in a song or two for a while. It seems like a nice place to be.

untitled

the truth is we shouldn't wait for the summer to swim.
the truth is you'll always cry when you chop an onion.
even if I'm with you after your break up to hold your hair,
there will be some nights when maybe there's a chance I won't be there.
the truth is nothing good lasts more than a few years.
the truth is I didn't like your bright new veneers.
even if you forget the letter a year early or late,
there will always be another time for which you'll always wait.